Have you ever asked someone, “Do you believe that you are loved?”
Isn’t it interesting to see the reaction?
Most people don’t know. They have a blank look on their face. Or, they have to think about it, because they’re not sure.
The truth is: YOU ARE LOVED!
You are loved by your Creator. He made you because He loves you. You are valuable because you were created from that love. I'm talking about the love that somebody cares that you are valuable, that everything you do, say, and feel matters.
If you don't believe that you matter. If you don't believe that you are loved, or that somebody cares, the behavior that comes out of that is very different than the behavior of someone who does feel loved, or when you feel that you are loved and cared for or valued, it's a whole different outlook on everything.
Well, I'm here to tell you that you are 100% loved and valued. You matter! What you do, what you say, matters.
We are in a process of evolution, right? Where we were a few weeks ago, or where we were two years ago, to where we are now, we have evolved. That doesn't mean we've evolved, always for the better, but we've evolved, we've grown. We cannot just stay stagnant, we grow in one way or another, and that growth is based on what we think it's based on what we feel. It's based on what we do or don't do. Do you believe you are loved?
Why not? or why do you believe? Those are very important questions to ask ourselves, because it matters. Because you matter.
That's what this work is all about. It’s helping people recognize they are valued, that they matter, that what they do, say, and think is important. It matters. It matters, not just for you and your sake, but it matters for everyone around you. Whether you know them or don't know them. Whether you are in relationship with them or not. It matters. You matter. You are valuable.
You are 100% lovable, just because you exist.
When I was working in the crisis shelter, I worked with teens. Usually teens that were discarded. Sounds crazy, but these were kids who had either been rejected, abandoned, kicked out, abused, you name it. They had been through some of the craziest, situations that we could even imagine.
I really loved these kids. They were so resilient. They were trying to make the best of what they could.
And I totally understood what they were going through. They weren't trying to be bad people. They were trying to survive. We would talk with them and say, “what's going on?” Most of the time they didn't want to talk about it. But, with time, they realized that I wasn't asking to be nosy. I was asking because I cared.
I wanted to really know what was going on with them, not what they did, but I wanted to know what they were feeling, what they were thinking. And once they realize that I was asking because I cared and I really wanted to help.
Once they knew that I really cared, then they started realizing that it was okay to share what they were thinking and feeling. Their behaviors would change. They would start working on what they needed to do to make life a little bit better. We'd come up with ways to change things from the way they were, so they could get out of the vicious little cycle they were in.
Years later, they'd come and say hello, and tell me how they were doing, or they would call. When they were asked, “What made you change?”, they would say, “somebody cared”.
So, it does matter. Just the fact that somebody cared enough to ask you, “How are you?”, matters. Because every single person is valuable. Every single person matters.
If you don't believe me, try it. Try asking somebody, “how are you?” and mean it. Try asking your own family, or friends, “How are you? How are you feeling today?”, “How's it going?” I'm not talking about “oh, I feel good” or “I feel bad”. I'm talking about, seriously, “what's going on in your world?” “What matters to you?”, “What do you think?”, “How do you see this?”, because it matters. We all matter. We're all valuable, and you are truly loved.
I'd like for you to try a little experiment. For the next couple of weeks, when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself out loud, “I am loved”. That's all you have to say, “I am loved.”
You can add if you wish, “I am valuable”. Then go on with your day. Do what you usually do. And at the end of those two weeks. Check in with yourself, see if you feel any different.
What we tell ourselves matters. The words that you use for yourself, and the way you use them for yourself, matters. And it's important to tell yourself these things.
Okay, so some people will tell me I'm crazy because I'm telling you to talk to yourself. It's okay, because what's happening is you are telling your brain, something different. If you don't feel loved, if you don't feel valuable, it's because there's something in your brain, (usually in your subconscious), that's telling you that you're not. We don't know where that comes from, but it's there. Now, tell yourself, something different, and see if you feel different. Try it. It's an experiment.
And if two weeks isn't good enough, and you want to feel more loved after that, do it again.
It's our understanding that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Why is that? It’s because you're having to create a new thought in your brain, and get your brain used to it, and it takes that long, believe it or not. Try for 21 days. If you really want to challenge yourself. Tell yourself every day. “I am loved. I matter. I'm valuable.”
And then let me know if you feel any different.
With that thought in mind, Have a great day! Have a great week! Have a great 21 days and beyond.
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